“Komsomolskaya Pravda” about the contest “Beer beauty of Russia” (2013-12-17)

There is a proud title: “Beer beauty of Russia

I, an innocent person, believed that all beer meanings were connected with men: beer belly, beer jug, track pants, slippers, a newspaper, TV remote and jerry-shop. Will you tell me: is there a meaning like a woman’s jerry-shop? And do you often see women in track pants in the four-ale bars? Do your wife, girl-friend, female employee, team-mate, boon-companion, dinner companion lie on the sofa dressed in track pants with foul-smelling socks, TV remote and beer jug? If it is so – you are not our newspaper reader.

Alexander, you are not right! – told an organizer of the first women’s beer beauty contest Oleg Nazarov,  meeting me at the threshold of the beer bar with advertising cloop of beery smell and traditional beer jug. – Beer for women is a panacea for all woes and overweight. And for men – this problem touches on a poochy tummy and liver. Drinking fresh beer you can lose weight. And also a face mask can be made of beer! – added he without hesitation.

For a moment I imagined the faces of men who knew that face masks were made of their beer! Woe betide those mask makers!

Chairman of judges Vladimir Presnyakov. Photo: Anatoly Zhdanov

Looking at the thin, tiny form of Oleg Nazarov, I assured of fresh beer use and touched a drop of the medical infusion twice.

Unfortunately, we, in our long-suffering Mother Russia, thoughtlessly, hold contests among girls-hostess, saleswomen, stewardesses and representatives of the oldest profession excluding beer lovers. And there are many charming girls – beer lovers in Russia.  Over 200 Russian girls struggled for the title “Beer beauty of Russia”. Just imagine, you get acquainted with a girl in the library and ask:

–  Who are you, baby?

– I’m Russian beer beauty, and you?

– And I’m Russian beer handsome man? Do you respect me?

Contestants in glad rags. Photo: Anatoly Zhdanov

Neither in the prairie nor in the forest you’ll find beer beauty!

So, 8 long-legged nice girls chosen by the curious and hot beer lovers were walking along the podium. According to the results of online voting only 8 contestants reached the final. There were girls from Moscow and suburbs: Yulya from Obninsk, Radmila from Rostov on Don, Olesya from Bryansk, Morianna from St. Peterburg.

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In the panel of judges (under the chair of Vladimir Presnyakov – elder, in beret): were Villy Tokarev with a beer jug, songwriters: “How delightful Russian evenings”! – a poet Victor Pelenyagre and a singer Alexander Yagya. Villy Tokarev with peculiar romantic pathos exclaimed poetically:

– Oh, How it is splendid! It is a holiday of beer beauty!

I haven’t thought before about the existing of such meaning as – beer beauty! But if it is said by the man of gravitas Villy Tokarev then beer beauty exists. And there is wine, vodka, tequila and sake beauty.  And what a good thing! We are choosing Russian beer beauty instead of beer handsome man in our modern Mother Russia.

During the first stage of the contest girls had to drink beer through a straw quickly and erotically. Moscow beauty Alina has won the contest. She has drunk the beer jug for 40 seconds with dancing!

 

 

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Then pretty girls were walking along the podium in ball dresses.  The beauty was put to the forefront and the beer topic was to the background. Next they were competing in wedding dresses and then in swimming suits. The beer topic almost disappeared.

You are flying away, beer beauty!

Those who have only once passed judgment on the beauty contest know that it is not easy to choose the best because all are so charming and clever. Have you ever drunk beer with a girl? Girls don’t get drunk of beer! They become cleverer! And this is our problem!

Girls were so clever that I thought some of them could be useful in the State Duma. During the contest they didn’t compose serious draft bills but made a couple of reasonable offers, one of which I took into consideration. Most of judges voted for Alina from Moscow.

– And who can remember all contestants by names? – asked a show presenter. There was a silence and only I named all girls. The beer beauty holiday came to an end by Alina’s kiss to my thin, unshaven but attractive cheek.

Alexander Meshkov, December 13, 11:44
Source: http://www.kp.ru/daily/26171/3058846/

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